Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. We previously chronicled how in the Internet age, the whole sex toy thing has gotten completely, terrifyingly out of hand.
This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week. May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love. If you're looking to treat yourself in the bedroom there are millions of sex toys to choose from, but one of the greatest things about masturbating is you're totally in control. You decide how to pleasure yourself, which means you have the option to go big — like, really really big — if you so choose. There are some ridiculously massive sex toys on the market these days — some so large they're almost comical. But hey, we're not here to judge. You do you
The Sex Toys Everyone Is Going to Be Buying This Year
Let this be the year or decade you finally think beyond the vibrator. With every new year comes a new round of sex toy innovations. While it's natural to have a go-to toy, it's definitely worthwhile to try something new. Although humans may be creatures of habit, no one ever said that genitals prefer to stick to the humdrum of the same old, same old.
If this is your first time registering, please check your inbox for more information about the benefits of your Forbes account and what you can do next! It's called The Pearl Royale , and its appearance suggests it's fit for a queen. Created by Australian jeweler Colin Burn, the made-to-order piece is composed of solid platinum and bejeweled with pink and white diamonds, blue sapphires, and South Sea pearls. Stylistically, its crown-shaped top connotes royalty -- or, say, something that would be perfect for the paramour of a Russian oligarch. The South Sea pearl at the top of the device functions as a key to operate it or can be detached and worn as a necklace.