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For those unaware, "confession Tumblr" is basically a holding place for collaborative diaries—a spot where teens can draft a short, lovelorn passage, submit it to an anonymous lockbox, and have it immortalized on a blog for all to see a few days later. Most confession Tumblrs focus on, like, Ed Sheeran and One Direction —celebrities specifically designed to mine as much teen aphrodisia as possible. You know, a private place to wax poetic about Harry Styles's tattoos. Of course, the Pennywise Confessions Tumblr is a little bit different. After IT was released in theaters, the blog appeared in the bowels of the internet as the go-to place to voice any and all prurience for Pennywise the Dancing Clown—that awful fucking monster at the center of Stephen King's IT universe. This is strange, because Pennywise generally seems like a really, really upsetting person to be intimate with. In the film, he bites off children's limbs with his shark-like teeth and speaks in an awful high-pitched keen.
Wake up, kanaka maoli! If you would like to drink from the punawai of the wai a kane, then that, too, is yours to pursue. You would relegate our people to nothing but mere shells along the seashore, damaged by those who trample upon their fragile beauty because they want to walk in paradise. Choose your water source and stay there. In pre-contact times, ohana was far more extensive than the Western nuclear family.
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